


A Punishment Worse Than Death

by Adder



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Existential Dread, M/M, Slow Burn, True Ending Spoilers, alternate universe cause fuck you atlas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 15:41:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13550415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adder/pseuds/Adder
Summary: Persona 5 but like, with Rangda. Also gay.





	A Punishment Worse Than Death

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, Im new to this shuake/akeshu hell. So much that I don’t quite understand why that’s the ship name but like whatever I’m going with it (like shu from kurusu[shu?? Or is it shu like shujin like prisoner???] and then ake from akechi but still I. I’ll shut up). {or is it shu like shuujin like husband ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)}{I took japanese for three years for this}
> 
> Now because I’m a depressive piece of shit, I didn’t think I’d actually get around to writing this, and honestly I doubt I’ll finish it, but that certain Goro scene pissed me the fuck off because I beat him with basically just Rangda and we all hopefully know what miracles Rangda can pull off so like. Yeah. In summary I’m angry and gay and so here’s my version of the ending tailored to how I played the game (let me be gay Atlas goddammit {eikichi doesn’t count I still need to not be stuck in P2.1}).

The signs were all there, and yet still, he had hope. Maybe, just maybe, Akechi Goro wasn’t going to betray them. Maybe he could be saved just like the rest of them. He was, after all, not yet an adult. Surely, if Akira could have helped all the people he had so far, surely, he could help Akechi too.

It was a hard position to be in. Since Akechi actively denounced them, the Phantom Thieves, all of Akira’s team members hated him. He couldn’t blame them, though. Calling them unjust, supporting the government despite everything that was going on... And, well, after they found out the truth that Akechi was really the one behind all those psychotic breakdowns, that all of it was so his (bastard) father Shido Masayoshi could become Prime Minister... It was pretty hard to see Akechi in a good light.

So why, then, couldn’t Akira hate him too?

He thought back to the few times he ran into Akechi at the station. The guy approached him, probably because he had a feeling Akira was involved in the Metaverse and hence the Phantom Thieves. He said he was interested in him, even though he openly disagreed with him during a television interview (Akira and his friends certainly were doing more than the cops though. They caught a mafia leader for crying out loud).  

Maybe it was because of how stressed Akechi looked, how pressed for time he was, how he seemed genuinely affected by the public’s view of him (which was his own fault but NOT THE POINT). Maybe it was because of Akira’s “secret” that only Ryuuji knew about (because the bastard wouldn’t stop asking him what kind of girls he was into and stuff like that so Akira eventually crumpled and revealed “I’M GAY RYUUJI. I LIKE GUYS. MY TYPE IS GUYS” when they were out training one time. It was pretty awkward. But at least Ryuuji was cool with it, probably because that meant less competition for him).

That “secret” got worse when he came home to LeBlanc that one day and was greeted by a smiling Akechi and a cutesy “Welcome Home!” Akira had panicked so hard he wasn’t even sure if he was joking or serious when he responded with “Honey, I’m Home!” And then the bastard had the nerve to be all “Oh you’re home late” and shit like that. And what was WORSE was he just got up and LEFT before Akira could even SAY ANYTHING.

So maybe he did hate Akechi. A little.

But that one time, when Akechi had said something about how worn out he was, before he left for his train, Akira had grabbed his wrist, stopped him, told him, “Take it easy on yourself.”

He wondered if that had changed Akechi at all. He wondered if Akechi even cared. What if, like Shido, he didn’t have a heart? What if there was nothing for Akira to save? What then? Hell, why did he still want to save him, even after Akechi literally tried to kill him, and succeeded in killing so many others?

His friends called him kind. They all said they felt like they could be their true selves around him, and that they knew he was listening to and caring about their problems. His kindness was why he joined the Phantom Thieves. His kindness was why he had a criminal record hanging over his head. His kindness was probably going to result in the death Igor and Chihaya kept mentioning (his actual death, probably).  


They were in Shido’s Palace, on their way to secure the final Letter of Recommendation from the Cleaner. Akira had a nagging feeling that he knew who this Cleaner would be, but regardless, pushed on to secure the infiltration route.

Surprisingly, the Cleaner was someone different. Then again, it would be weird if Shido only had one assassin at his beck and call. And, well, those psychotic breakdowns seemed to be more political and strategic rather than just offing dirt.

They were worn out. After this, Akira decided, they would call it a day. But then they got the Letter, and they were heading out... 

... And He had to show his face.

They knew it would only be a matter of time before Akechi realized he had been duped. Akira just hoped it wouldn’t be now. But man, he must’ve been cursed, because of course it was now, and of course they had to fight a guy that just a few weeks ago was one of them.

Or at least, to Akira, Akechi was one of them. The others, though...

As Leader, Akira knew all of Akechi’s tricks. So long as he had a persona equipped that could negate curse and bless damage, taking him down would be a piece of cake. Although, naturally taking down Robin Hood wasn’t going to be the end of it. It turned out Akechi had a trump card, another persona. It turned out he and Akira probably had the same power.

Much to Akira’s surprise, his friends tried to coax Akechi back to their side. It turned out that they too had hope that he could change, that they could help him. But he wouldn’t listen, and even had the nerve to use his own psychosis-inducing powers on himself...

It didn’t take long for Akira to figure out Akechi’s frenzied attack pattern. It was all physical and curse damage, so he could just use Rangda and use most of his attacks against him. It was ironic, like how they used the Metaverse against Akechi to make him think he killed the real Akira, but given Akira’s weakened state, he had no other choice.

Once that was over with, it seemed like they were finally getting through to Akechi. Finally, they were seeing the real Akechi, not the fake one who weaved lies and stretched truths.

That was when it happened. As Akira had dreaded, there was indeed a shadow version of Akechi in Shido’s Palace, and it seemed hell bent on killing the real one. While everyone else was frozen in shock, Akira blindly ran forward, summoning Rangda and deflecting the gunshot fire from shadow Akechi.

“Joker!” Everyone shouted, shaken free from their shock.

Akira shoved a wounded, startled Akechi behind him. “Mona! Get him out of here! Quick!” He pulled out his pistol, which still had two shots to it, and aimed to take out the shadow Akechi. He wasn’t too sure if he’d be able to take those other shadows by himself but, well, he survived that super rigged tournament. How bad could this be?

But to his surprise, Akira found himself being grabbed by the wrist and dragged backwards. There was a loud BANG! Followed by the crash of a shutter, just centimeters from Akira’s feet.

“I-idiot,” Akechi hissed. Akira was on top of him, staring for a few moments in shock before scrambling off. There was a hint of smoke rising from the nozzle of Akechi’s gun. The shutter... did he do that?

Morgana hurried over, having transformed into his car form. Carefully, Akira and Makoto moved Akechi into the car, making sure he was secure before Akira sent them off with a, “Hurry, take him to Takemi! She’ll know what to do!”

Since Morgana wouldn’t be able to speak to humans in the real world, Makoto climbed into the driver’s seat, gave Akira a worried look, and drove off. They were going to be three men down, but that was fine. As long as Akechi made it out alive... It would be worth it.

“Joker, what the hell?! You could’ve died!” Ryuuji admonished, almost punching him but then realizing that was probably not a smart idea considering all of their physical conditions. “I mean, it’s great that he didn’t die but that was dangerous!”

Akira let out a soft sigh, willing his heart to steady itself. He had to convince himself that everything was alright now, and that all they had to do was get into the treasure room and then sleep for five days (not actually they still had school tomorrow. Goddammit he was awful at planning these infiltrations).

“It’s fine, I know my limit,” Akira finally huffed, readjusting his gloves, “If it was anything other than a bash or pierce type attack, I don’t know what I would’ve done. But, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, a gun’s nothing on me.”

Or rather, on Rangda, a persona he’d become rather fond of for the exact reason he just used it. Which was funny cause the mythical Rangda was a demon god of some sort, last he checked.

“I can’t believe you did that” Ann was awestruck, “And, just like with everything else, you’re being so calm and level headed about it. How do you do it...?”

How did he do it? Honestly, Akira wasn’t too sure himself. The simple answer was that he had no choice. If he was to be the leader of this group, the guy that kept everyone together, then freaking out about every little thing wasn’t a privilege he had. Being leader meant he didn’t just have his life on the line, but everyone else’s. And honestly, before all this Phantom Thieves mumbojumbo, he didn’t really have much going for him in terms of living his life. He knew school was going to be shitty, he hated that his reputation was stained because some asshole misogynist pulled some strings and said Akira assaulted him. He hated that no one trusted him, that he had to live alone in a dusty attic, that he had to start all over again from square one. Hell, not even his family gave two shits about him. If they had, they wouldn’t have shipped him off to Tokyo for rehab.

Honestly, Akira just wanted this to all be over. Who cared if some asshole murderer pervert was going to take over Japan and probably turn it into a World War-worthy dictatorship? He was tired, he needed a break. But his problem, his biggest flaw, was that he was too kind. All these people were relying on him. He couldn’t just let them down. Not when he had already come this far.

As always, Ann didn’t get an elaborate answer. Akira just shrugged and lead the way back to the Palace entrance. From there, they confirmed that they had all the necessary Letters of Recommendation, accessed the treasure’s room, secured the infiltration route, and then went home.

Upon arriving at LeBlanc, he found Makoto at the counter, Morgana curled up on the counter beside her.

“Hey,” Akira greeted, glad they made it out okay.

“Hey,” Makoto echoed, finishing her cup of coffee.

Akira moved to take a seat beside her. Morgana was fast asleep. He was such an adorable cat. Too bad he hated being acknowledged as one.

“I guess we’re even now,” Makoto huffed, setting down her cup and gazing over at Akira, “Dr. Takemi said she’d keep you updated on his status.”

“So he’s alright?” Akira had to confirm.

Makoto nodded slowly.

“Sorry for the trouble,” Akira murmured, looking away from her. This apparently startled her.

“Why? What you did was rash, but you did the right thing.”

“But what if... he doesn’t.” Akira sighed with a vague gesture of his hands. What if, after all that, Akechi just went back to being a backstabbing murderous piece of shit?

Makoto was silent. “... If it’s you, I’m sure there won’t be a problem.” She slowly started to rise, leaving some cash on the counter as pay for her drink.

Akira straightened, watching her grab her backpack and get ready to leave. “I’m not a miracle worker,” he tried to argue.

But Makoto just smiled and shook her head. “If everything you’ve done this past year wasn’t a miracle, then I’d hate to see what else you can pull off.” With that, she was off, leaving him to mumble a delayed “see you later.”

He got a text from Takemi the next day (he had passed out in class but it was fine Kawakami was covering for him). Apparently Akechi’s condition was stable, but he had fallen into a sort of coma, and she wasn’t sure how long it would be until he regained consciousness. Akira apologized for dumping this on her and thanked her for her work. Takemi brushed him off, saying it was the least she could do for her “dear little guinea pig”. Then she added that Akira was free to visit any time, and that she’d love to see him in person so she could get a few questions answered. That much he had expected, and hence promised to drop by the clinic in a day or two.

In terms of dealing with Shido, all they had left to do was send the calling card and then steal the treasure. They still had a week before their deadline, so Akira ordered everyone to rest up and prepare for their big day.

After a nice bath at the bathhouse and a good night’s sleep, Akira felt well enough to resume life as usual. He paid attention in class, stopped by Iwai’s after school, picked up some new gear with the cash they reaped from the Palace. Iwai asked him to run a little errand, though, so he was only able to get to Takemi’s clinic at night.

“Oh, you’re here,” Takemi greeted as he entered.

“Sorry for the short notice.”

Leaning back in her chair, Takemi waved her hand at him, dismissing his formalities. “I was planning on heading home soon anyway, so as long as you don’t expect me to do anything for you, you can stay.” Then she rose, gesturing for him to follow her to the back.

Lo and behold, there was Akechi on a hospital bed, hooked up to all kinds of equipment and very much asleep.

“Is he naked?” Akira found himself blurting out, but like, cool-y.

Takemi gave him a knowing look, though it wasn’t like he ever disclosed to her his preferences in humans. “How else was I supposed to make sure everything was in place?”

He nodded quickly, probably too quickly. Right, right, yes. “Should I, uh, bring a change of clothes for him, just in case?”

“Akira, isn’t he your enemy?” Takemi came straight out, leaning against the palm of her hand, “This is THE Akechi Goro, detective prince, right?”

Akira nodded more sheepishly this time. Takemi stared at him as he tried to find a good way to explain himself.

“Is, is just saying it’s ‘school exam’ related good for now?”

Takemi sighed. “School exams, huh?” she leaned back in her chair, spinning to face her computer, “I guess that would explain your girl friend.”

“A girl, friend,” Akira clarified.

Takemi arched a brow at him. “That’s what I said. A girl, friend.” Then she smirked. “Could it be? The leader of the phantom thieves is an Akechi fanboy?”

“Of course not!” Akira scoffed, failing to play it cool. So much for that high charm stat (Morgana you lied).

“Then what is it?” Takemi questioned with a little giggle.

Akira glanced over at Akechi’s unconscious form, noting the gentle rise and fall of his chest. “I don’t know, business as usual? I wanted to help him.”

“You’re more of a bleeding heart than I thought.”

“But it’s not hurting anyone. If anything it’s the complete opposite. By doing things like this, you can continue your practice and-”

“But what about you, Akira? Is just seeing people happy really enough for you?”

Akira fell silent.

“I’m not a psychologist, nevertheless a therapist, but I can say you’re probably overextending yourself. I can tell from your blood test results that you’ve only been getting more and more stressed. At first I was afraid it was the medicine but then... other things started falling into place.”

Akira shifted uneasily. He had gotten so used to having other people talk about their problems that having to talk about his own was kind of. Weird.

Takemi let out a long sigh, powering off her computer and swiveling to face him again. “You can leave him to me. Be careful with your next target, okay?”

Akira mumbled a “yes, thank you”, before eventually following her out of the clinic and heading back home.

In the following days, Akira and crew rested up, did some light training in the Metaverse, and then once he felt they waited long enough, he gave Futaba the thumbs up for sending the Calling Card. It was a shame that Akechi wouldn’t be able to take part, seeing how much he wanted to defeat his bastard father, but the deadline was growing near and sending Akechi into battle straight out of the hospital didn’t seem like a safe move anyway. Besides, it was probably best this way. With Shido taken care of, there would be no one left to torment Akechi but Akechi himself. And that, they felt, they could handle.

As expected of Shido, taking him down wasn’t an easy task. Still, driven by the hopes of all the lives Shido had ruined, they pressed on until, at long last, he was down. They had done it. It was finally over. All they had left to do now was wait in uneasy anticipation, as always.

It was always the days following a successful Palace infiltration when Akira finally had some time to himself to relax, catch up on his studies, explore more of Tokyo, hang out with friends, etc. He especially had a lot of free time on the day of the deadline, seeing as everyone was too busy waiting in anticipation for what was to come. Since exams were like two days away, he decided to do some studying alone in the cafe. When the news finally came on and Shido started confessing his crimes, he let out a long sigh, one that earned him a side eye from Boss.

“Congratulations,” Boss said amidst cleaning out the coffee grinders.

Akira nodded slowly, attention now drawn to his phone which was expectedly exploding with message notifications. With Shido’s confession, he was undoubtedly going to be put on trial and made to atone for his crimes. Although, he wasn’t too sure who was going to run as interim prime minister. He honestly wasn’t that familiar with how the government worked (despite being top of his class for being really good at Googling in the middle of class), though the issue of revealing Shido’s sins was something that had been nagging him as of late. If the country’s elected prime minister turned out to be a hoax, did the second place winner get the spot? Was there even a second place winner?

Maybe he’d message Mr. Yoshida later. Although, the man probably had his hands full with the diet elections.

The next day, Takemi sent him a text congratulating him on his “most recent endeavor” and how she had something she wanted him to check out. Assuming it had something to do with Akechi, Akira promised to be there as soon as possible.

“I’ll be out and about. Yell if you need back-up,” Morgana hopped out of his bag before they entered the Clinic. He could probably tell this was something Akira had to do on his own. And, well, Morgana probably knew his secret too, seeing as the cat was with him 99% of the time. It was probably why the cat never got too jealous whenever Akira hung out with Ann.

Breathing out softly, Akira entered the Clinic, greeting Takemi with an awkward wave. She just smiled at him, tilting her head to the side in a “go on back” gesture.

Stepping past the curtains and into the back, he found Akechi sitting up on his hospital bed, eyes dully watching his own vital signs flash and beep on the monitor. It seemed Takemi bothered to get him some hospital wear. Akira found this strangely disappointing.

As Akira approached, Akechi turned his head to glare at him. Apparently Akira wasn’t being sneaky enough (he really wasn’t trying).

“Hey,” he greeted plainly, leaning all cool-like against the wall.

Akechi looked him over, as if Akira’s intentions could be deducted based on his appearance alone. “... You took me to a back-alley doctor,” he said once he determined Akira wasn’t an immediate threat, looking back at the monitor.

“What, you wanted me to send you to an actual hospital and have people freak out because, omigosh it’s Akechi-kun~! Kyaa~!”

Akira’s attempt at a kawaii-moe-like voice must have took Akechi off guard, as the guy whipped back around to stare at him. Akira just gazed back at him with his usual calm and collected expression.

“So since I can’t have you ruining our lives already, I figured taking you to my personal doctor was the best move,” he added, pushing his glasses up by the bridge.

“You don’t trust me?” Akechi snarked, looking as though he’d throw himself at Akira if he weren’t hooked up to medical equipment and probably physically and mentally exhausted.

Akira crossed his arms and shrugged slightly. “You haven’t killed my personal doctor yet, so that’s something.”

“I drugged him when he tried to sneak off,” Takemi called from somewhere else in the clinic, probably giving them space to talk but also eavesdropping because why not.

Akira choked back a laugh. Wow. He almost wished he was there to see it. “You tried to run away?”

Akechi was gradually starting to look as pissed off as he had back on Shido’s Palace-Ship. “Why did you save me, Kurusu? That was the stupidest thing you Phantom Thieves have done yet." 

So he was getting straight to the point. Well, if they were just going to be chatting, Akira supposed he could stick around for some Q&A. He honestly hadn’t expected Akechi to regain consciousness so soon. Futaba had taken foreeeveeerrrr. “Well, according to your fake justice,” the word fake just made the look Akechi was giving him that much deadlier, “the right thing to do would have been to let you die by other-you’s hand. It would have been fitting, wouldn’t it, to just have you disappear and atone for your crimes in such a beautifully convenient way? Everything you’ve worked for until now would just disappear alongside your father’s corrupt reputation, just like the lives you stole.”

Akira sighed, moving to sit on the chair Takemi usually sat in. Oo, it was kind of springy. Sadly, this wasn’t the time to bounce in it like a child (maybe another time). “And honestly, turning you into the police would be ironic, but we can’t prove the Metaverse enough to get you tried.” Akira crossed his legs and his arms as he faced Akechi. “And since you were technically a teammate at some point, I’ve decided I have an even better punishment for you that not only allows us to avoid the police, but also allows us to stay true to our justice.” 

The intensity of Akechi’s glaring was waning, most likely from confusion. What would be a better punishment than death and the destruction of everything he’d worked for?

“You’re going to live with the fact that you ruined hundreds of people’s lives for your own selfish reasons. You’re not allowed to run away or hide in the shadows anymore. From here on, you’re going to earn the love and prestige you crave like everyone else.”

A grimace. Yes, Akechi most likely had a feeling that was what Akira was going to propose. Death was quick, certain, conclusionary. But living? There were so many risks with living. What if people found out what he had done, whether he got legally punished for it or not? What would people think of him? Could he even continue as a detective? It wasn’t like he earned the position through merit alone. But if he wasn’t a detective, then what was he? What could he be? He’d go back to being useless. He’d have no one. Once again, he’d be completely and utterly alone. And that was a fate he dreaded more than death.

“I’ll have you remember, you’re not alone anymore. We changed Shido’s heart. He’ll get what he deserves eventually. So he can’t control you anymore. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have anyone either. You can always come back to us, for real. The others, they want to help you too. They’ll be cautious, as anyone is with someone who once betrayed them, but if you’re not actually an asshole at heart, then they’ll warm up to you for sure. Then you’ll never be alone again.”

Akira lowered his arms and legs. Akechi was staring at the ground, jaw clenched. All signs of his will to lash out had dissipated, leaving him with nothing but fear and despair.

“You said you were jealous of me. Well, here’s your chance to have what I do, if not more, since I want to help you out too. Not just because that’s what I think is the right thing to do, but also because it’ll be satisfying as hell if down the road, we managed to heal your supposedly unhealable heart and got the pleasure of rubbing that in your face.”

Akechi let out a little huff. Then, gradually, his body began to quiver, head still tilted downward, so Akira couldn’t tell if he was laughing, crying, or pissed. After some time passed, he had a feeling Akechi didn’t know either.

Experimentally, Akira rose from the chair, but still yet, Akechi said nothing. Decided to leave him be to digest all that, Akira turned to return to the front, where Takemi was pretending to be reading some kind of medical journal.

“Make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid,” he requested.

Takemi lowered her journal so she could look up at him. “Who do I send to ensure the same of you?”  

Akira made a face. “I’m fine,” he insisted.

Takemi’s eyes narrowed into a suspicious squint. “Once the brat’s condition is stable, you’re coming in for a check up yourself. No exceptions.”

Akira almost forgot that when you were nice to and looked out for other people, they tended to return the favour. He never acted out of kindness because he expected the same back. Maybe that was why the others found him to be so awe inspiring or whatever. “I don’t think you’ll find anything, but alright,” he succumbed, rubbing the back of his head.

Nodding her approval, Takemi sat up in her seat, setting aside the magazine and rising to her feet. “Good luck with actual exams,” she said dismissively, leaving Akira to sigh deeply. Right, exams. Well, considering how high his knowledge stat was, and the fact that he actually made an effort to study, do his homework, and pay attention to class, he doubted he’d have to work very hard. He was more dreading having to tutor his panicking less-academically adept friends... At least he usually got food out of it.

Exams went about how he expected. According to Takemi, Akechi fell back into a coma after calming down from Akira’s little chat (she wouldn’t tell him what ‘calming down’ consisted of. Patient confidentiality, apparently.)

Then things started to not go the way they expected. The public didn’t seem to care that Shido admitted to all kinds of heinous crimes. If anything, they were upset that he wasn’t just doing his job as prime minister. This baffled the phantom thieves, as usually the public was quick to shift according to their actions. Did they miss something? Something wasn’t right.

It reached the point that Morgana urged them all to check out Mementos, and brought up the possibility that they could change the heart of the public if they stole the treasure from Mementos. Doing so would eliminate the Metaverse and hence prevent them from acting as the phantom thieves permanently, however. It was a difficult decision but, they had to get to the bottom of this. And, well, if they got rid of the Metaverse, they could ensure that no one else could abuse its powers (and Akechi would really have nowhere else to run to.)

And so they gathered at the station despite it being Christmas Eve, and made their descent into Mementos’s depths...

**Author's Note:**

> Wow that was probably boring but it'll maybe probably get gayer/better once the plot stuff is over. I'm too lazy to write out the game but this gayfic needs that background so like. So like. Yeah idk bear with me lol


End file.
